Redefining Vaginal Tearing in Childbirth: Shifting Perspectives and Embracing Body Wisdom

As a society, there exists a collective belief that tearing during childbirth is inherently bad. This belief does not serve women, but instead it serves the medical paradigm. It feeds into the ideology that a woman who tears while giving birth needs immediate suturing, regardless of how severe or minor her tear may be. If a system can convince a society that tearing is a horrendous experience that requires swift medical attention, it will create more fear, resulting in more women giving birth in the hospital, where their tears can be taken care of “properly” by medical staff, amongst all of the other "medical emergencies" that the system tries to save women from.

The idea that vulvas need immediate medical attention after giving birth is not actually true. The surface layers of the vaginal wall are made up of tissue similar to the tissue that lines the mouth and digestive tract. Beneath these tissues are layers of smooth muscle tissue, collagen, and elastin fiber, which give the vagina structure and the ability to stretch. The mucous membrane that lines the vaginal wall is rich in blood vessels, giving it the ability to heal quickly by providing ample blood supply. This means that vaginal tears have the ability to heal without sutures.

Our society also holds a standard that vaginas are required to look a certain way or return to "normal" after becoming a mother. The notion that a vulva will ever look exactly the same as it did before giving birth is a false objective. “The female body is not designed to resemble a young maiden for life” - quote inspired by Nicole from @theseedofjoy_. We are designed to harbor life, grow, and expand, physically and mentally. The birth of a child is a miraculous feat. It only makes sense that women's bodies and souls will forever be altered.

Besides the medical institution instilling fear, I pose the question of other ways women create fears around tearing.

Women are encouraged to practice perineal massage towards the end of pregnancy to reduce “the risk” of tearing. This implies that the body does not know how to open properly without training, and therefore, creating an agenda or a feeling of desperation in hopes to avoid tears. Stretching the yoni in preparation of birth actually has little impact on the vaginal tissue as it’s virtually impossible to predict how the body will experience birth. As labor begins, our hormones shift, altering our pelvic tissues and allowing them to open more so than before labor began. For many women, perineal massage doesn’t feel natural and can be an uncomfortable experience. If a woman decides to implement this massage, and she ends up tearing, there may be a lingering notion that perhaps the practice was performed incorrectly or not enough. The opposite is true for women who do not use perineal massage and tear during childbirth. These women may be hard on themselves for not adopting the practice, thinking that their tear could have been avoided.

In addition to massage, women are exposed to products advertised as tear preventives, such as oils, sprays, and teas. If a woman uses these products, and she doesn’t tear, the product will receive credit, not her yoni. If a woman declines these products, and tears, she may think that her body has failed her, and that the advertised products were the missing piece.

Furthermore, women are praised by family, friends, and even medical staff for not tearing, suggesting that the birth was a success as a result of no lacerations. I’ve also heard countless birth stories where a woman birthed freely and intuitively in her own home, free from intervention and abuse, ending her powerful birth story by stating, “I didn’t even tear!”

What does all of this suggest?

It implies that the body is imperfect and that a woman must do everything she can to avoid the misery of vaginal tears. If a woman can manage to avoid tearing, she did everything correctly. If a woman walks away from her birth experience with a tear, she could have done more or birthed differently.

Here’s the thing…

There is no magic technique for preventing tears.

Some women tear. Some women do not.

If we can change our belief, we can slowly begin shifting our views and ultimately our fears. We can learn to surrender to birth and open ourselves up to experience everything it has to offer, including tearing.

Tearing may seem alarming, but the body does not make mistakes.

When your baby begins to emerge during birth, your body will open exactly how it was intended. For some, the vagina will stretch wide enough for the head and shoulders to be birthed with ease. For others, the vagina will stretch and tear in order for the baby to come earthside. Tearing does not imply failure, but instead a phenomenal physiological response for creating more space during childbirth. The vulva is brilliant in her design, knowing precisely how to stretch, open, tear, and heal beautifully.

Tearing during childbirth does not have to be something that a woman endures, rather an opportunity to prioritize the rest and recovery she so deeply deserves during her sacred postpartum.

It wasn’t until my third birth that I truly appreciated how incredible and resilient my body was. 19 months ago, I discovered a third degree vaginal tear after freebirthing my son. I knew that I wanted to avoid sutures and leaned into this experience, trusting my body just as I trusted in her to birth my baby.

I successfully healed my tear without stitches!

I don't view my tear as something that happened to me, but something that happened for me.

Instead of fixating on tears, give yourself permission to trust your body.

*Physiological tearing occurs when a woman is spontaneously pushing, without intervention or coaching.

*Coached pushing is when another person, usually an OB, Medical Midwife, Nurse, or Doula is counting as you push, telling you when or where to push, telling you to hold your breath or pant at any point.

*Tearing while being coached or receiving any kind of invention, including the epidural, can lengthen the recovery period because it was not an oxytocin-filled mother-led experience and may additionally require emotional healing from a possibly traumatic experience.

*Sutures to close a vaginal tear can cause more discomfort, improper healing, and excess scar tissue, causing tightness or lingering pain in the pelvic floor.

*Women who give birth at home can still experience coached pushing.

To learn more about physiological tearing and how to heal your tears without sutures, check out my PDF guide, “How to Heal Your Vaginal Tear Without Stitches”.

You can also get this information and so much more from the Nourished Postpartum Summit. This Summit includes 16 wisdom-rich conversations, 20+ hours of video content, audio files, and downloadable PDFs all focused on honoring and healing during your sacred postpartum. In this Summit, we discuss sovereign healing after physiological tearing.